Haunting and Healing
by shadowllama12
Summary: Sequel to Hot and Heavy though you really don't need to read it to understand this one. Starts during 'Smashed'   Fuffy
1. Chapter 1

Faith sat at the Espresso Pump waiting anxiously for her witchy friend. When the blonde finally showed up, the slayer stood up so fast that she almost knocked over her chair. "Are you alright T? Is everything cool?" The brunette demanded frantically.

"Yeah Faith," Tara responded, slightly startled. She sat in her chair. "I'm fine. I just wanted to talk. Are you okay?"

Faith ran a hand through her hair. "Yeah. I'm five by five." She responded, sitting back down. Tara raised an eyebrow and gave a crooked smile. She'd been friends with the other girl long enough to know that a combination of jumpiness and the phrase "five by five" boiled down to one thing.

"H-how's Buffy?"

"You always see right through me, don't cha Terror," Faith smirked. Tara gestured for the slayer to continue. The brunette turned to her with a serious look on her face. "Spike hit her,"

"How?"

"I don't know. He hit her but his chip didn't fire and he just ran off. Wanted to make sure you were okay and when you gave me the 911, I kinda freaked."

"Really, didn't notice." She gave a half hearted chuckle. She was still disturbed by the fact that Spike's chip no longer worked. Although he had no invitation to her new apartment, he could still enter the Summer's residence and hurt, never mind she wasn't going there.

The witch was pulled out of her thoughts by a hand in her face. "Yo, T. You still with me?"

"Sorry, just thinking."

"I know you wanna ask."

After a pause, "How's Will?"

"Last time I saw Red she was crying on the floor and not cause of the broken nose." She mumbled the last part but the witch still caught the comment.

"Why was her nose broken?"

"Um… well…"

"What did you do?"

"I… um…"

Tara's eyes locked onto Faith's and refused to let go. The slayer gulped. It was disturbing how someone who fought demons and vampires each night could be frightened by her best friends steely gaze.

"Faith…"

"I may have had a little chat with her about how I feel when she pulls crap like that."

"And by chat you mean?"

Faith ducked her head like a child who's been caught stealing from the cookie jar and began to study the tile.

"I may have punched her."

"Faith!"

Other patrons of the coffee shop looked over at the pair and saw a rather interesting sight as the blonde woman stood up, grabbed the collar of her companion's leather jacket, and pulled her into the alley. The brunette was then forcibly shoved against the wall.

"T, you're scary when you're pissed."

"Damn right I'm pissed, Faith. What is the matter with you?"

"Well when someone hurts someone I care about I tend to lose my temper."

Tara let go of the other girl and backed away. "Sorry," she mumbled. Faith wiped herself off and looked up at her friend. "It's cool, T. Who knew you had it in you?" The witch smiled, "I think you're rubbing off on me."

"Is that a good or bad thing?" Tara pretended to think it over and Faith gave a chuckle. "If it helps, I'm in the doghouse big time for smacking around your girl."

"It really doesn't."

"Sorry."

"We both know you don't mean that."

"Well it's the thought that counts, isn't it."

"Yeah… it is."

Tara walked back towards her friend and wrapped the slayer in a hug. The witch was one of three people that Faith would willingly hug, with the other two being named Summers. Pulling back from the embrace, Tara warned, "Thanks, but if you ever do something like that again, I'll turn you into a frog."

Faith smiled. "I'm sure you would." They stood in silence for a moment before the brunette continued, "Hey, I said that I would take Dusk out for some 'female bonding time' or whatever. Wanna join?"

"What does this quote unquote female bonding time include?"

"Squirt said something about movies and milkshakes. So, you in, or am I gonna have to suffer alone?"

"I'm in."


	2. Chapter 2

"Good god, that's a lot of shake," Tara said as Dawn sipped her large chocolaty drink. Faith grabbed the cup from the former key, took off the lid, and gulped it down.

"Hey!"

"Not like you were gonna finish it, Squirt." Tara laughed as Faith got up to throw the cup away. She decided to hang by the trashcan to give the others time to talk privately. Well, somewhat privately, given her slayer hearing.

"You know that I will always be there for you, right?" Tara began. Dawn looked at her and stopped smiling, "There, there was actually more of a lead-in when I practiced that at home."  
"I know."  
"It's just ... I wanted you to know that ... my moving out had nothing to do with you, and I, I will never stop loving you."  
"I know." Dawn paused for a moment. "Do you think you'll ever get back together?  
"I wish I knew."  
" But you still love her." It wasn't a question.  
"Very much. I just ... sometimes ... other things get in the way."

"I know. Uh, she's been doing a lot better lately, though. Uh, she's been really good about ... being careful ... a-about stuff."

Faith snorted from her position by the trashcan. She knew for a fact that Dawn wasn't telling the truth, even if she didn't know that Willow was still abusing magicks, neither of the Summers sisters was particularly good at lying. Apparently Tara didn't believe her either as she responded skeptically, "Well, good. Great, that's ... that's great."

The slayer walked back to the table. The other girls looked up as she asked "So where to next?"

Tara and Faith hung back as Dawn rushed ahead of them looking at all the shops. The slayer slung an arm around the blonde's back. "How'd your little talk with Dusk go?" Tara gave a smile, "Like you don't know Slayer."

"What can I say? Got a power like mine, can't help but use it." The witch's face dropped, "Uh, sorry. Forgot about that for a second, Tare."

"No, it's okay." Tara continued "It's just… Let's change the subject. Is Buffy still mad at you?"

"Yep, can't really blame her. Just wish she could forgive me as fast as you did."

"Who says I've forgiven you?"

"You're no longer trying to kill me so I count that as a win." Faith removed her arm from the other girl's shoulders and gave her a bump. Tara grinned and the two lapsed into a comfortable silence. They had almost caught up to Dawn when the witch grabbed her friend's arm and stopped them on the sidewalk. "Don't be an idiot Faith." The slayer gave her a confused look. "What?"

"Apologize to Buffy."

"I did."

"Apologize and at least try to mean it."

"Red-"

"I don't care if you think that Will deserved it. Apologize to both of them."

"Why?"

"Because you love Buffy a-and I don't want your relationship to suffer because mine is."

Faith smiled at her friend and began to seriously consider the witch's advice.

"Are you guys coming or what?"

She shook her head as Dawn came up and pulled the two women towards a shoe store.

* * *

After hours upon hours of being dragged through store after store by the youngest Summers girl, Faith and Tara were more than enthusiastic to finally return home and promptly collapsed on to the couch. The slayer looked out the window and saw that the sun was going down. With a sigh, she got up and proceeded to stretch her limbs. "Time for patrol." She walked to the staircase and shouted "Patroltime, Twinkie." When no reply came, she climbed the steps, leaving Tara and Dawn in the living room and went to the room that she shared with Buffy, the room that had once belonged to Joyce Summers. Finding it empty, she searched the rest of the upstairs with no results. She returned to the living room to find the two girls watching cartoons. "Looks like no one's home," she turned to the witch, "You mind watching Pipsqueak?"

"Uh…"

"I'll be gone maybe an hour tops but I guess you'd be fine for that long, right D?"

"Or, she can stay and wait for you," Dawn told Faith before turning to Tara "Then you can get a chance to catch up with ... everyone."

Faith rolled her eyes "Dusk," she warned, "T can go to her place if she wants and aren't you always complaining about how you never get to be home alone."

"It's fine," Tara began, "I'll stay, but just until you get back. And only to make sure that Dawn's not alone, this ... has nothing to do with ... anyone else."

The slayer looked uncertain but went to the door. "Just be careful okay, the both of you."

* * *

If it wasn't for slayer hearing, Faith wouldn't have heard Buffy's voice but thank god she did because the sight she walked in on was Spike kicking her girlfriend in the face. He jumped down from the chandelier he had been hanging onto and was too busy taunting the blonde to notice her counterpart.

"She doesn't fit in anywhere. She's got no one to love."

"She's got me."

Faith grabbed Spike by his collar and threw him across the room. She ran over to Buffy who reached for her hand and stood up. They both turned to face the vampire who had already fled the scene. "Are you alright B?" The blonde nodded her head as Faith helped her wipe the dust off of her jacket. "What was he-?"

"Don't," Buffy snapped before taking a deep breath, "Just don't. Okay."

They both stood apart in silence before Faith finally spoke up. "I'm sorry."

"What?"

"For hitting Red. I shouldn't have-"

Faith didn't get to finish as Buffy slammed her against the opposing wall and kissed her with as much passion as she could muster. "B, I-" The brunette started but couldn't continue as her lover attacked her lips again. Buffy unzipped Faith's jeans and managed to shove her hand down the front. All conscious thought that the younger slayer may have had, ended at that moment and she returned the kiss with absolutely no hesitation.


	3. Chapter 3

"Shoe. Need my shoe." Buffy said as she scrambled around the destroyed building searching for her missing article of clothing. Faith began to stir behind her and the blonde looked at her girlfriend guiltily. "Hey B. Where you going and-" she glanced around herself, "-when did the building fall down?" The blonde ignored the second part of the question and focused on making up an excuse for leaving in such a hurry, "I, uh" she paused as she slipped on her recovered shoe, "I've got to get to work. I'm was supposed to open up this morning and Lorraine might just decide to fire me since I'm," she grabbed Faith's wrist which still somehow had retained the watch all through their late night adventure and glanced at it, "really late."

The younger slayer looked at her skeptically but before she could say anything Buffy walked over and planted a kiss on her lips. "Can you check on Dawn before you head over to the Magic Box? I feel badly about leaving her alone last night." With that she headed out and Faith was left to search for her clothes and wonder what had just happened between her and Buffy. It felt more like B was running from a one night stand then saying 'Have a good day' to her girlfriend of two years, she thought as she slipped on her jacket. She was about to head out of the crumpled building when she spotted a pair of Buffy's lacy white panties. Now Faith knew something was up. Blondie would never forget her undies. Granted she claimed she was late to work but when you've blackmailed the company, being a little tardy shouldn't matter. It probably had to do with her incident with Red who, by the way, totally deserved it. Faith was just protecting a friend and, now that she thought about it so was Buffy. That had to be it. The reason B just up and left was because she was still mad about the Willow thing. She just prayed there was nothing more.

* * *

Faith was still lost in thought when she climbed onto the Summers' porch and didn't notice Tara storming out of the house until they collided. The witch fell down while Faith just grabbed onto her shoulder which had suffered some minor bruising the night before.

Noticing who bumped into her, the slayer used her good arm to hoist her friend onto her feet. "Hey T, didn't see you there," she noticed the tears forming in Tara's eyes, "Whoa, what happened?" Instead of speaking, the other girl simply buried her head in the slayer's chest and gave a sob. "Uh, T, I know I left for a bit but didn't think you'd miss me this much." Tara chuckled slightly and pulled back from the brunette. "I-I'm sorry, I-I-I." Faith raised an eyebrow, it wasn't too often that the witch stuttered around her but when she did it usually involved a certain redhead. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Tara wiped away her tears and shook her head. She moved past her friend and began to walk down the porch steps. The brunette grabbed her arm, "Tara."

"I-I-I just need to get out of here." When Faith wouldn't let go of her, the witch said an almost silent "Please" that if she wasn't a slayer, the younger girl wouldn't have heard. The slayer dropped her friend's arm and watched her walk off before turning on her heel and marching into the house.

* * *

The first thing she heard when she stepped into the kitchen was a squeal as Dawn saw her enter. "Faith! Oh my god. Where have you been, did you find Buffy?" the teenager asked. The slayer stared at Willow as she answered, "B's fine. We were fighting a demon and lost track of time. She's at work right now." Dawn didn't seem to notice the tension going on between the two and continued talking, "I figured. Is there a new big bad?" The staring match between Willow and Faith continued, "No, we took care of it. Can you go upstairs for a bit D and take-" she gestured to Amy who had yet to speak up, "Rat girl with you?"

Finally catching on, the younger girl stopped smiling and pointed in between them. "No. Buffy said you two aren't allowed within ten feet of each other." Willow finally spoke up, "Faith, I'm tired so yell at me later." Amy got up from her seat and headed for the back door, "I should head home. Dad's expecting me."

As soon as the door shut, Willow started for the hallway but Faith grabbed her arm. Unlike when she grabbed Tara, Faith had no affection in the hold just plenty of anger however, she still showed the same level of concern as she had for her friend. She whispered quietly enough for only Willow to hear, "I know what an addict looks like, Red. If you ever want a chance at getting T back, get yourself clean because you won't just hurt yourself. You'll hurt everyone around you. Are we clear?" She released the other girl and Willow looked at her for a moment before nodding her head. "Crystal," she said before heading to her room to think about Faith's words.


	4. Chapter 4

"It won't come off B. Please, I can't wash it off," Faith cried, "Help me get it off." Buffy turned to her sister slayer. The normally confident young woman was now holding out her hands to the blonde, begging and pleading for her to help.

Faith began wiping her hands on her jeans and kept screaming. Buffy grabbed her, "Get what off Faith?" she asked, eyes locking onto the other girl's brown ones. She noticed tears rolling down the brunette's cheek and rubbed them away with the thumb of one hand, keeping the younger slayer's arms clasped with the other.

Faith took a breath and whispered in shame and fear, "The blood B. Don't you see it? It's everywhere. I'm covered in it. Just get it off." Buffy looked her sister slayer over. There wasn't a speck of anything on the girl's tight jeans or leather jacket, other than some particles of dust from a vamp she had staked while heading to the Halloween party.

While Buffy inspected Faith, the brunette's eyes had grown wide as she stared at someone behind the blonde. She jumped back, causing the older girl to lose her balance and fall to the ground.

"Faith, what the-"

"I'm so sorry D, I shoulda been there. I'm sorry I didn't listen. God I'm so sorry."

The blonde looked up at the other slayer and suddenly saw red liquid dripping down Faith's hands. She glanced in the direction the other girl was staring and saw a woman in her mid-thirties, wearing tweed. She had a bun in her hair and glasses perched on the tip of her nose.

"You shouldn't have left Faith. If you had just stayed for training instead of skipping out, Kakistos wouldn't have killed me. If you hadn't been so stupid, I'd still be alive. If only you had just listened."

Buffy scrambled to her feet and attempted to drag Faith away from the Watcher clone but was shoved back down by deputy mayor Allan Finch.

"That's always been your problem Faith, you never listen. If you had listened to Buffy, if you'd just been quick enough, I would still be alive. But you'll never be quick enough will you? You'll always be second best."

Buffy tried to reach for Faith again but was surprised when another version of herself appeared along with Finch and Faith's former Watcher.

"Let's face it F," her look-a-like spat "If you can't impress me when we slay then what makes you think that I would possibly want to be with you. Besides I already dated one killer, what makes you think I want another?"

"That's what we are, isn't it?" Another Faith appeared in front of the original who was still frozen to her spot, "A killer and a royal fuck up. Why would Blondie want us? We'd be lucky if she even wanted a good fuck. I mean that's what we're best at. We could rock her world then get gone. It's who we are."

All four manifestations surrounded Faith who only stood there, covered in blood and tears.

Buffy jumped to her feet as a hollow voice echoed "Killer." She ran towards the brunette but the floor gave way beneath her and she landed in the basement. The sound of splintering wood jarred Faith away from her demons as she heard Buffy scream from below her. "B!" she yelled, shoving the specters and jumping down through the hole in the floor only to find the other Slayer being held down by zombies. "She'll never love you, just screw you and leave. Just like Angel and Parker. You deserve to be alone," what appeared to be the ring leader of the undead called.

Kicking off the zombies, Faith pulled Buffy to her feet and the Chosen Two ran through a door, arriving in a large room with a pentagram drawn on the floor and college kids cowering along the walls.

The slayers spotted Oz hiding in the corner as Willow ran into the room. "Get 'em off! Get 'em off!" The werewolf got up and started to console his girlfriend. "I'd offer my opinion but you jerks aren't gonna hear it anyway," Xander spoke as he rocked back and forth on the edge of his chair, "Not that didn't-go-to-college boy has anything important to say. I might as well hang out with my new best friend, bleeding dummy head, for all you dorks care."

Buffy began to ask Xander just what the hell he was talking about and Faith just stood next to her, watching her. She tuned everything out and just focused on the girl who went from scared shitless to General Buffy in 3.5 seconds. Without thinking, she leaned in and kissed her with more conviction than she'd ever shown anyone in her life. After only a moment's hesitation, the blonde returned her affection tenfold, even going so far as to bury her fingers in Faith's hair.

The world fell away and neither slayer noticed Xander's eyes bulge or his jaw nearly hit the floor nor did they notice Willow slip a $10 bill into Oz's hand.

Their moment was broken by the sound of a doorbell and the redhead shouting. "Faith, can you get that?"

* * *

Faith opened her eyes blearily and looked around. She was on the couch in the living room and whoever was at the door was about to get their face punched in for interrupting her dream. Grumbling, she got up and walked towards the door.

She was about to open it when something occurred to her: Willow sounded anxious. Which meant one of two things; it was Amy, so she was worried that Faith would beat the crap out of her or it was Tara. And she was afraid that Faith would let Tara beat the crap out of her.

She chuckled at the thought of the sweet witch beating anyone up occurred to her. Then of course she remembered how close the blonde had been to kicking her ass the day before and promptly sobered up.

Swinging the door open, she proclaimed, "The world better be ending or else someone's getting a face full of my fist."

The witch smirked, "We both know you'd never hit me." Faith smiled and let Tara in. "Not that I'm not happy to see you T, but what're you doing here?" The blonde looked down at her feet and murmured, "Willow called."

"I thought you were ignoring her calls."

"She left a message, sh-she was asking for help, w-with the magicks. She needs help Faith."

"I'll say."

"Faith…"

"Alright, alright."

She turned to the stairs. "Red, you have a visitor!"

* * *

Faith whittled a stake and whistled as she watched the withes sitting in the yard. They had been meditating for roughly twenty minutes and to say she was bored was an understatement. She noticed, however, that she wasn't the only one unable to sit still as the redhead once again fidgeted and cracked an eye open to look at the blonde across from her. "Focus Will," Tara warned for the thousandth time, "and Faith don't you have to work."

The Slayer smirked and returned to whittling, though she decided to stop her whistling, as Willow settled down. The blonde had a point though, she should have been at work but she'd called in sick. Xander didn't believe her of course but she told him she'd gotten into a rough patch with a vamp while patrolling. It was partially truthful if you replaced "vamp" with Buffy and "patch" with sex, but she didn't want to give the carpenter a heart attack… or a new fantasy.

She stopped moving the knife across the wood and thought back to her dream. That night had been one of the best of her life. After they'd slain the pint sized demon (whom she and Xander had been chastised by Giles for mocking) Buffy had gone back to her motel room and they had made love for the 1st time and stayed up talking well into the morning. It was a far cry from what had happened last night when Buffy had simply fucked her and- no, she wouldn't do that, wouldn't just, "get some and get gone." But that's exactly what she did. She practically jumped Faith and then left with some bullshit excuse about having to work.

She hadn't noticed the tears forming in her eyes until Willow asked if she was alright. "Yeah Red, I'm five by five. Just got some shit in my eye. Go back to your Wicca or whatever." Tara who had also noticed the brunette's solemn look gave her a "We'll talk later" look before motioning to the redhead to continue their exercises.

Getting up, Faith put the knife and half-finished stake on the porch and went inside. She trudged down to the basement and began pounding on the punching bag Buffy had let her install. Her fists rang loudly as she unleashed volley after volley of shots onto the punching bag.

When Tara went downstairs to say goodbye later, she found her best friend's knuckles cracked and bloody and her face covered in tears. Yeah, they definitely needed to talk.


	5. Chapter 5

Faith sat on her bed and watched the door, waiting for her girlfriend to come back home. She ran her thumb over the gauze covering her knuckles as she studied the pattern on the wall. Noticing the spot of brighter coloring by the dresser, she stood up and walked over, tracing the bump. It was the hole that Xander had tried his best to fix after she punched the wall following the battle with Glory.

The weeks following Buffy's death had been the worst in Faith's life. She would stay out all night, drinking and beating the crap out of any evil thing that had dared to cross her path. She had refused to eat anything and the only reason she hadn't completely left Sunnydale was Dawn, the sweet kid who snuck out of the house one night to get her from Willy's. On their way home a vamp had jumped them and left the teenager with a scar on her cheek before Spike appeared out of nowhere and staked him. After the close encounter, Faith had cleaned herself up. She answered phone calls from the other Scoobs, she ate three square meals, and sobered up.

She almost lost it again though when the gang decided to rebuild the Buffybot. Faith hated that thing with a passion. The first time she saw the robot she literally tore its head off. At least that's what Xander told her. All she remembered was seeing it and then seeing red. She got used to it though but when it was ripped apart by those demon bikers she thought she was never going to be okay again. And then seeing Buffy, the real one, dressed in her funeral clothes, looking as confused as she felt, Faith thought that there was hope.

She heard footsteps coming up the stairs but didn't have to turn around to know it was Buffy. The blonde opened the door but stopped short when she saw her girlfriend standing by the dresser. "Uh, hey Faith, I um spoke with Will, she said you two talked."

"Yeah," the slayer said with a bitter chuckle, "me and her are five by five."

"Good"

Faith took a deep breath and turned around. Buffy caught site of her girlfriend's gauze wrapped hands, "What happened to your hands?"

"Nothing, just-" she ran a hand through her hair and winced at the discomfort, "Look, B, can we talk?" Buffy nodded and moved to sit on the edge of the bed. She patted the space next to her but the brunette didn't move from her spot. Faith didn't say anything for a long while; she just stared past the blonde on her bed who knew well enough to give her girlfriend time to get whatever she needed off her chest.

"Y'know I love you, right Buffy?" The girl in question gave a nod. "And I understand that you've been having a rough time, what with the whole resurrection thing and all but I need to know something." The blonde motioned for her to continue, "Are you sleeping with Spike?"

If she hadn't been so pissed off at the accusation she might have thought it was funny. The idea of her and Spike was preposterous, even though the vampire had admitted to having feelings for her, it wasn't mutual. She stood up quickly, "No Faith, no way in hell would I cheat on you and especially not with him. The fact that you would even think that is-" she was cut off with a kiss. It was light, almost nonexistent, but it was enough to quiet the blonde and Faith returned to her place by the dresser almost instantly. "Good," the brunette said, "So what's up with you?"

"What do you mean?"

"You've just been acting, I don't know, weird lately."

"So your first thought was 'She must be sleeping with Spike'?"

"It wasn't a brilliant thought but it's not like…" she trailed off before she said something she regretted but Buffy caught it immediately.

"It's not like what? Like I haven't slept with a vampire before, god Faith! I wish you would get over that Angel thing."

Faith bristled at that. Although she and the ensouled vamp were friends, she still couldn't contain the jealousy that came over her whenever Buffy mentioned him. A jealousy that had only increased when, after her resurrection, the other slayer had gone to visit him and refused to divulge any info regarding their meeting, not even to her girlfriend. That however was not what Faith was talking about.

"I meant the whole 'my will be done' spell that Red pulled a couple years ago,"

"God you're insufferable! Spike and I didn't sleep together!"

"Well he had his tongue so far down your throat that I ain't quite certain 'bout that."

"That isn't fair. It was a stupid spell. I mean c'mon, Xander turned into a demon magnet and Giles went blind, in fact I'm pretty sure the only one who didn't get completely screwed over by that spell was you what with the really cool superpowers and all."

Flashback:

Faith awoke to incessant knocking and quickly slid on a t-shirt and underwear to answer it. Her hopeful, albeit sleepy face fell when she realized it was Willow and not Buffy standing in her doorway.

"What d'ya want Red?" she said, not bothering to hide the sleep from her voice. Willow brushed past her into her motel room and looked around before turning to face the slayer. "Have you seen Buffy?" she replied, giving the room another sweep. "No," she said, instantly concerned, "Have you been to her mom's house or your dorm?" she asked, knowing the redhead was spending a lot of her time at Oz's old place.

"No, this was the first place I checked."

"Geez Red, give me a heart attack why don't cha. She's probably at one of those places or at G-man's."

"Right she's most likely at Giles' helping with Spike."

"Yep, she and Captain Peroxide are probably having a great time," the venom was barely contained in her voice but she shook it off, "Why'd you look here first anyway?"

"Because she's always here," Willow spat.

"So you still think I'm using her?"

"Look Faith, I know you say it's different with her but you're as fast as the Flash and as loose as Mr. Fantastic,"

The slayer felt her limbs become suddenly heavy and she didn't notice Willow's eyes flash. "That's not who I am anymore but you won't believe me so whatever. Just call me when you find her." She ushered the redhead out of her apartment and attempted to go to sleep but decided to just get up when the sunlight kept poking through her blinds.

She began to walk over to Giles' place but subconsciously broke into a run at the thought of Buffy and Spike. She was surprised to find that she arrived at her destination in an instant and was even more shocked to find her girlfriend sucking face with the blonde vampire. As soon as she saw them kissing, her arms extended of their own will to reach Spike and pull him off her lover.

She was about 2 seconds from beating him within an inch of his undead life when Buffy called him her 'fiancé'. At that point, Faith realized that something was up with her girlfriend (as well as with herself, considering her newfound superpowers). Thank god, Willow reversed the spell, but things were tense with them until the whole 'No talking' deal when they finally managed to work through some of Faith's insecurities.

End Flashback

"So you admit it! You screwed Spike!"

" 'Screwed over' Faith, not 'screwed'"

"Tomato, potato."

"Faith!"

"Look, okay. I get you're not screwing Spike," _Now_, she added under her breath, "But can you at least tell me what's going on? I mean, as hot as last night was, it wasn't like you. We destroyed a building for fuck's sake, B. You gotta tell me what's up with you?"

Buffy sighed and sat back down on their bed. "I can't," Faith scoffed, "You wouldn't understand."

"But Spike can?"

"This isn't- y'know what Faith? Yeah, Spike does understand. He's died before; he's had to crawl out of his own grave."

"I get that but-"

"No!" she shot up from her seat and got in Faith's face. "You don't get it. Everything here is too much. The sun is too bright, a whisper sounds like a yell, the only time I ever feel okay is at night. I know I love you, but I can't feel anything but hate."

"B-"

"I know you didn't know they were going to bring me back, but I hate that you weren't there, I hate that you didn't save me. I hate that you weren't the one that had to die. I hate that they resurrected me. I hate being alive!"

Tears formed in Buffy's eyes as her brave front crumpled. "I can't do this Faith. I can't hate you and love you at the same time, I just can't! It hurts worse with you than it does with everyone else. I don't know, it just-" All the younger woman could do was nod as she wiped tears from her girl's eyes. "I'm gonna stay at T's place for a while Buffy. Make it easier for you."

"You don't have to-" she started, putting her walls back up.

"Yes, I do. I'll talk to Dawn; make sure she understands that it's not your fault."

"But it is my fault, I came back wrong Faith. That's why Spike can hit me. I'm not the same."

"No you're not but something happened that was out of your control and it's messed you up but you'll heal. We all will,"

Buffy sniffled and wiped her eyes before burying her head in Faith's chest. "Will Tara mind you dropping in?"

"Nah, I already warned her ahead of time,"

"You warned her that we were gonna break up?"

"This isn't a break up B; consider it more of a trial separation,"

"In my experience, that usually means break up."

"Well I'm not giving up on us that easily," She kissed the top of Buffy's head and pulled away from the embrace, "I'm gonna pack some of my things and then go talk to D, alright," The blonde nodded and left the room as Faith picked up her duffel bag and started to fill it with some shirts and pants.

"God I hope this works," she said as she headed to Dawn's room, "for both our sakes."


End file.
